Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My relationship with Zack. Part 1

Last night Zack and I had our first talk. It didn't go so well.

He had just woken up in the back of the truck, on the sleeper bed, when he saw me looking at him. I was perched in my post in the corner of the bag with my head poked out so I could see him.

"stop looking at me" he said.

I told him I couldn't help it because Sarah had put me this way, and I couldn't currently move.

"right...what are those legs for?" he asked...mocking me.

I was about to responde with a scathing attack on all of Zack's less desireable features when Zack launched off into a discussion (monologue really...) about Calvinism.

"you see puffball..." he began, "your saying you 'can't help it', is like me saying that all of my actions are predestined before all eternity, and therefore God won't hold me responsible for them. If that is the case, then what if I 'can't help' but throw you out of the window because you won't stop loking at me?"

I responded that God says both that we are predestined, but also that we have to do right things.

Zack responded by calling me an "inanimate creature" and a "not quite animal", subject even more so to his dominion and rule than an animal is. I don't know what any of that means, but I know he isn't completely serious about what he says.

The reason I know this is because sometimes, when no one else is looking...Zack feeds me peanuts and soda pop.

Zack asked me once again to stop looking at him. And I told him he'd have to unstick me from the zipper of the bag and turn me around. So he did. But then he stuffed me down into the bottom of the bag. It's ok, I found some fish crackers to munch on, and he had his iPod down there...and so I listened to it for like 7 hours and then the battery died and you know what? The next morning Zack was like "huh, the battery's dead...weird"...and I was like "Sucker!"

To be continued...

2 comments:

jen said...

you guys are hilarious!!!

amy lineburg said...

the warmness of your heart toward your adopted almost-animal. Ahhh